There is more of Archie to come, but first, from the Squid Stories time machine, vintage 2010, a story that grew out of a dream I had in Alaska. I think I still have the original notepad that it was written on somewhere. It isn't the only story on that notepad, if memory serves...
“Afternoon
naps are probably the best thing ever. A little dangerous though, because you
don’t always plan them and you don’t know when you’ll wake up. I almost didn’t
make it to work just now,” Fred said as he walked up.
“Yeah,
I noticed you weren’t at dinner,” Diego said. “Aren’t you hungry?”
Fred
replied as if he hadn’t heard a word that had come out of Diego’s mouth, “But
afternoon naps result in more dreams than normal nighttime sleeping it seems.”
“I
guess your stomach wakes up a bit slower than your mouth.”
“I
just had the oddest dream, almost a nightmare.”
“I
bet your ears are the last part of you to wake up. Tell me about your dream.”
Still
talking as if he hadn’t been interrupted, Fred began: “Like most dreams, I
didn’t know it was a dream at first. I don’t know where I was, and I don’t
recall anyone else being there. I was focused entirely on my mouth. Inside my
mouth. I was feeling around with my tongue and I discovered something wrong.
“The
furthest right of my front four teeth on my bottom jaw was loose. I could feel
it wobble when I pushed on it with my tongue.
“Worried,
I reached my hand up to verify this startling discovery. As I did, it came to
me that I was dreaming. While dreaming, I was conscious of my unconscious
state.
“While
strange, this isn’t the first time that this awareness has come to me. Each
time I’ve been able to will myself back to wakefulness (every time I seem to be
in an undesirable situation). It is a struggle and takes a few moments, but it
works, as it did this time.
“Immediately,
upon waking I checked my tooth. I was only half-shocked to find that it was in
fact loose. You know how real life creeps into the dreamworld sometimes.
“I
gave the tooth a probing touch with my tongue. I quickly went from half-shocked
to completely blown away, and also fully scared, when I pushed my tooth clean
out of my mouth.”
Diego
stared at Fred’s mouth. He hadn’t noticed any missing teeth.
“Obviously,
I still have all my teeth because that was when I woke up a second time, actually
woke up. Unless I’m still dreaming?”
“No,
this is real,” Diego said. For the first time, Fred seemed to hear him.
“That’s
what I thought, but it’s good to have it confirmed.”
“OK
people! Time to work!” Fred and Diego turned in obedience to their boss’s
command. It was such a busy evening that there was no time for further small
talk. At the end of the shift the two exchanged goodbyes and left.
“Fred!
Answer the phone you lousy sonofa—Fred! What did you do to me?”
“Diego?
That you?”
“Damn
right it is! This is your fault somehow!”
“My
fault? What are you talking about?”
“My
tooth!”
“Your
tooth?”
“Yes,
my tooth! The furthest right of my front four on the bottom—just like you said,
you bastard!”
“What
about your tooth?”
“It
fell out, of course! Don’t act like you don’t know. I’m not sure how you did
it, but I’m going to get even.”
“Wait,
Diego, slow down. I didn’t do anything to you, or your tooth.”
“Then
how do you explain my tooth falling out just after you dreamed of that same
exact tooth doing just that? It even happened when I pushed on it with my
tongue. How on earth do you explain that?”
“I
have no idea, Diego. You have to believe me, man. I didn’t do this to you, I
promise. But listen: it’s only a tooth, right? Easy fix.” There was a small
pause while Fred took a breath. “Did it hurt?”
“No,
it didn’t. That’s weird.” Calmer now, Diego said, “I was too freaked out to
notice before, but it didn’t hurt a bit.”
“Well,
there you go: it was painless, and the dentist can hook you up with a real good
fake tooth. Easy peasy. Hey, you’ll even get to miss a day of work.”
“That’s
true. I’m sorry I yelled at you, Fred, but you have to admit, it is really
strange. It’s like your dream predicted what was going to happen to me; like a
little window into the future.”
“Yeah,
that is weird, a little scary, actually. Sometimes I have some really crazy
dreams. I’m glad it was only your tooth.”
“Whoa,
no kidding. I know I’ve had some gruesome nightmares. I wonder why your dream
happened to me.”
“Yeah,
and why that dream and none of the others I’ve had my whole life?”
“It’s
a fecking mystery. OK, well, sorry for the angry wakeup call, Fred. Have a good
day at work, it seems I’m going to the dentist.”
“Hey
Diego. Looking good, man. That new tooth is perfect!”
“Thanks
Fred, but we need to talk.”
“What’s
up?”
“I
had a dream yesterday afternoon after I went to the dentist. I wouldn’t mention
it, but it was similar to the one you had.”
“Another
loose tooth?”
“You
wish. You know how you thought you had woken up, but you were still dreaming
and thought what you were dreaming was real? Well, that’s what happened to me.”
“You
think that means that your dream is going to come true too? Oh shit, does that
mean it’s going to happen to me? Diego! What happened in your dream?!”
Diego
took a deep breath, looked Fred in the eyes and said: “Like you, I wasn’t aware
that I was dreaming at first. Where I was wasn’t important, and no one else was
around. My attention was focused on my chest. I could hear my rapid heartbeat
in my ears so strongly that it was the only sound. I could feel it expanding
and contracting, moving my blood. Then it stopped.
“Then
I thought that I had woken up. My heart was racing. I calmed down and relaxed,
listening to my heart rate slow. Then, again, as I was listening, it stopped
beating.”
Fred’s
face was ashen as he stood with his mouth agape, unable to respond. Diego
looked back helplessly.
“OK
people! Time to work!” Fred’s heart began to race.
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