Oscar and Alphonse

Burdick Mysteries continue...

            “SEE YOU TOMORROW, ABBYYYYYyyyyy-” Theodore “Snacks” Mohr couldn’t hold the warbling note any longer.  “I think we should do Whisper Day tomorrow, Opera Day has really taken a toll.”

            “But you sing so well, Snacks,” Abby replied with a grin. “Oops, I have to go. Bocelli is waiting for me.” She gave Snacks’ pudgy hand a resounding high five that left him grimacing as she bounced off.

            Abby and Bocelli walked home in silence for a change. Snacks certainly had a point: Opera Day could wear a person out.

            They entered the mother ship and heard their father waging war on his Quark Heat Converter through the floor. The sounds rumbling up from the basement were impressive, and the shrieking smoke detector added contrasting high notes. As they passed the kitchen they saw their mother, wearing earmuffs, standing on a stool amidst a daunting cloud of smoke.

She slowly reached up one finger, looking a lot like E.T. Her fingertip didn’t glow, but it did disable the smoke detector, immediately lessening the din, but by no means eliminating it. It almost sounded as if their father was having his Opera Day downstairs, accompanied by mechanical pounding and whistling.

There was an incredible amount of heat pouring from the kitchen, so Abby dropped her sweater off in her room on her way to the third-floor bedroom. As she was about to close her closet and get beamed up, she saw movement. She looked closer.

On the back wall of her closet were two hairy green caterpillars. She had no idea how they had gotten there, but she was sure that they would enjoy interstellar travel as much as she did. Carefully, she cupped one hand and used the other to brush them off the wall. Within moments, she was teleported upstairs with her precious cargo.

“What do you have, Ensign?” Archie was curious.

“Sample life forms, sir,” she said. “I found them in my quarters.” She opened her hands flat. Archie approached and together he and Abby watched the caterpillars. They crawled around her palms, circling each other, touching and then parting, turning this way and that.

“They’re dancing!” Abby exclaimed. Archie leaned in closer. The caterpillars were certainly up to something. Archie squinted his eyes. The insects circled each other, touching end to end. Then they parted and rearranged with surprising quickness. Both were stretched out straight, one with its head pointing to the middle of the other. Archie’s eyes widened.

“Those are letters! Ensign, you’ve found intelligent life forms!”

            “Letters? What are they spelling?”

            “Excellent question. Hmm,” he thought. The caterpillars didn’t have enough room, and they moved so quickly it was tough to keep track of all the letters. “I have an idea!” he said with a snap of his fingers. “Go grab some paper, I’ll meet you back here.”

            Archie sped from the room at warp speed. Abby let the two insects down onto the top of the dresser and zoomed away. Within moments both Burdick kids were back in orbit over the pair of caterpillars. Unaware that their audience had left, the caterpillars continued to trace patterns, both recognizable and indecipherable across the dresser.

            Archie held a shallow dish and several tubes of paint in his arms, which he dropped on the floor. Abby had a short stack of blank white paper.

            “OK, spread those papers out. I’ll get the paint ready,” Archie said. He popped the top off a tube of purple paint and squirted a thin layer in the dish. Abby had the papers arranged in a line. Preparation complete, Archie stepped to the dresser.

            “Alright, little guys, listen up. It is clear that you are trying to communicate and I have an idea that will make things easier.”

            “I hope they understand English,” Abby said. Archie paused as if such a thing hadn’t occurred to him. The caterpillars had stopped moving, however, and Archie took this as an encouraging sign. He went into action.

            Carefully scooping them up, Archie moved over to the paint dish. He very gently held one caterpillar in between his small fingers and dipped its numerous feet in the paint. He let the paint drip off then set it down on the edge of the paper. It waited patiently while its companion received the same treatment.

            Both caterpillars stood stock still, two small vermillion lumps underlined in lilac atop a stretch of white paper.

            “Who are you?” Abby asked. Immediately, the caterpillars lurched to life. Like two miniature locomotives they chugged across the paper, leaving a trail of tiny purple footprints behind. Sloppy capital letters, strangely connected, yet legible appeared. O – S – C – A – R, a small space, then A – L – P – H – O – N – S – E.

            “Oscar and Alphonse? Nice to meet you. I’m Abby, and this is my brother Archie. Where did you come from? How did you get in my closet?”

            B – O – O – K. Abby’s face scrunched in confusion, but Archie connected the dots quicker.

            “Mr. Linden’s book! We must have missed them.”

            “I guess that’s where they learned to spell,” Abby said. As she and Archie knelt wondering if they had missed anything else, the two caterpillars began moving again. They moved so quickly they were almost a blur.

            W – A – R – N – I – N – G – V – E – I – L – F – A – L – L – I – N – G.

            “Warning, veil falling,” Archie mumbled. “What does that mean?” He looked to Abby, but she appeared just as lost. He returned his attention to the bugs. “What veil? Why is it falling? Oscar? Uh, Alphonse?” Archie realized he didn’t know which was which and glanced back and forth between the two.

            O – U – T – S – I – D – E. Archie stared at the new word, confused. It certainly didn’t answer any of his questions. The caterpillars began wiping their feet off. It was clear that they were finished.

            “They want to go outside!” Abby was confident. “They don’t belong here.” She was more right than she knew. Leaning forward, Abby laid her hand down, palm up. Oscar and Alphonse scampered up in unison. Abby rose and proceeded down the stairs and out the backdoor. Archie trailed behind. His mind was churning almost audibly. Steam was coming out his ears in thin wisps, nothing compared to the thick trunks of smoke pouring from the basement window.

            Abby wasn’t entirely certain how the caterpillars would get back to where they belonged, but she knew it was time to send them back. The caterpillars softly wiggled in her hand, spelling out “goodbye.” They moved speedily, but Abby was just able to catch the last word.

            She bent and let them off her hand. They inched into the grass. Abby and Archie watched as Oscar and Alphonse disappeared into the Jungle of Fiery Foxes. A small green stalk seemed to be almost glowing at the edge of the jungle, but neither sibling gave it a second glance as they raced back to the ship. They were eager to continue searching the universe for the bizarre and inexplicable.